


Just another fake, fucked up lost cause?

by pvrcq



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Emotional Hurt, Galra Keith (Voltron), Gen, Gratuitous use of italics, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt No Comfort, I hate myself, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Oneshot, POV Keith (Voltron), So much angst, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), Why do I do this, broganes, kangst, no beta we die like men, readers tears welcome here, seriously so many italics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:35:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26497261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pvrcq/pseuds/pvrcq
Summary: “Why, Hunk?  Are we really even friends? Is there anything holding us together besides some —messed up series of coincidences?! I mean what are we?—Some chosen saviours, do you really believe that?  What are we even DOING out here?!Let them hear it. Apparently, someone needed a fucking reality check.
Relationships: Allura & Coran & Hunk & Keith & Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro, Allura & Keith (Voltron), Coran & Keith (Voltron), Keith & Black Lion (Voltron), Keith & Keith's Family (Voltron), Keith & Keith's Father (Voltron), Keith & Krolia (Voltron), Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith & Red Lion (Voltron), Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Keith & The Blade of Marmora, Keith & Voltron Paladins
Comments: 14
Kudos: 103





	Just another fake, fucked up lost cause?

**Author's Note:**

> If you saw me posting Voltron in 2020, no you didn't.

_ “Don’t worry guys. We’ll run into something eventually that will turn this trip around. _

_ —If my experience in space has taught me anything, it's that something  _ **_always_ ** _ tries to come and kill us.” _

If only they had known how right he would be. Look at them now. Lions gone, drifting in space, barely any air left. Was this how it was going to end for them —alone, quietly, in a pocket of deep space where no one knew where’d they’d been or what they’d done, the final symbol of hope for the universe, reduced to nothing but the particles of stardust they were born from? Somehow, that didn’t sit quite right with him.

Keith Kogane had always been prepared to die. This was nothing but a simple fact of the universe, such as the sun rising or how humans needed to breathe to live. Death and loneliness had been a companion forever, quite possibly the only stable thing in his life.

His mom had left him when he was barely a baby. Of course, he knew the real reason now, but it hurt a bit more when he was a kid who thought it was his fault and she left because that's how much she hated him.

His dad had been nice, from what he remembered. It wasn’t memories exactly, but feelings. Warmth, happiness,  _ belonging _ . Feelings which got harder and harder to come by, the older he got. Feelings which were sometimes so abstract to him, that he couldn’t understand when others talked about them. 

But, as all good things do, it came to an end. His dad died. He could say it now, although people would always recoil because of how emotionlessly he said it. Keith didn’t quite understand —why, exactly. It wasn’t like it was  _ their  _ father. But he was used to pain. It was just another thing the universe could throw at him, trying to break him, lying in wait to see his eventual snap.  _ Why _ fate hated him so much, he didn’t know. 

And then there was Shiro. Beautiful, kind, Shiro. How he came across such a perfect person, and had the honour to call him a  _ brother _ , Keith didn’t have a clue. But he was endlessly thankful for it. 

Shiro was the only thing that had kept him sane (—did someone like him count as sane?) throughout all those years at the Garrison. He had saved Keith more times from himself than anything else, and he couldn’t have asked for someone better. But in the end, Shiro left too. Again. And again. And again.

He met the paladins. Lance, Pidge, Hunk, Allura. Coran too. And before he knew it, they became family. Buried themselves inside his heart, too hard, too fast. 

Keith wasn’t good with people, or emotions. But was this what having someone for yourself feel like?

And, yet again, he messed up. Left. 

Coming back two years later was amazing, yet  _ terrifying. _ Coming home, but feeling like he was looking back at strangers.

  
  


_ “I guess —it could’ve been a hallucination. But that usually happens …..when you’re going mad.”  _

_ “Fantasizing about quitting voltron.” _

  
  


Keith knew his friends. Keith knew his enemies. He knew his purpose in life. To fight for the universe, or die trying. Or so he had thought.

Can’t they understand how  _ important _ this is? How could they still have childish fantasies, about  _ quitting _ . As if they had the luxury. As if the fact that they were even going to get out of here was nothing but a stupid  _ pipe dream.  _

  
  


_ “You have a lot of nerve questioning someone’s leadership, seeing how you  _ **_left_ ** _ us.” _

And that was true, wasn’t it? He  _ had _ left them. The only people he’d ever cared for, the only thing he’d dared to hope he would have the luxury of keeping for himself, without  _ ruining _ everything. But he was too messed up for that. 

Too many issues, too much baggage, too many problems, too _fucked_ _up_. None of them cared for him. They were _fine_ without him. How dare he think they could’ve _wanted_ him there, what right did he have to come here and pretend he _belonged_.

  
  


_He_ _didn’t_.

_He_ _never_ _had_.

_ He never would. _

  
  


And now they would die here.

* * *

  
  


_ “Keith, you ran away.  _

_ —Maybe you should’ve just stayed away.” _

  
  
  


He  _ knew  _ it was true. Why did it hurt so much? 

Pain. It was only pain. He had been through this before. He would go through it again. This was a fact of the universe. 

~~ He was kinda sick of drowning in self loathing. ~~

* * *

_ “Sorry, Hunk. I guess I just don’t know how to be a coward.” _

Lies. He had  _ always _ been a coward. Too scared to talk to anyone, to trust anyone, too scared to  _ say _ something. Rushing into a fight for the high, yet couldn’t give a smile to someone for he was too scared they would break him. Walls built high, so no one could get in. Except he made a mistake.

_ He let them in.  _

Look where that got him.

  
  


* * *

_ “Just drift off by yourself, Mr Lone Wolf.” _

_ “—Fine.” _

  
  


What did they care about anyway? It would be good for everyone if he left. It wasn’t like they all didn’t hate him. He was ready to die, always had been. What difference did it make if he was alone or with them?

_ “No, don't! We HAVE to stay together!” _

Together, huh? He didn’t know what that meant, never had. Why did they expect him to understand now? It was true. He was the loner. He wasn’t qualified for this, for bonding, for family, for togetherness, for  _ good _ .

* * *

_ “Why, Hunk? Are we really even friends? Is there anything holding us together besides some —messed up series of coincidences?! I mean what are we?  _

_ —Some chosen saviours, do you  _ **_really_ ** _ believe that? What are we even DOING out here?!  _

Let them hear it. Apparently,  _ someone _ needed a fucking reality check. Had they forgotten who he was,  _ what _ he was?! 

Allura had been right not to trust him. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve  _ them _ . 

But Voltron? 

It didn’t deserve to die out here, die out here in nothing but the blackness of an infinite void, and Keith wouldn’t let them. He owed them that much at least. 

* * *

He reached out to Black, hoping,  _ praying _ she could hear him.

He didn’t believe in god, he assumed if there was some immortal power out there, he would have had a slightly better life. But then again, maybe they just  _ really _ hated him. He wouldn’t be surprised. Keith hated himself too. He still prayed.

He heard an answering purr in his head, and almost melted in relief, asking her if it could work.

She was, as he had expected, vehemently against it. Somewhere, he could distantly hear Red protesting too. That got a small turn of his lips, at least the giant spiritual Mecha-Lions would never abandon him. 

It would work, but it would drain the last of whatever energy Black had. Keith trusted the others enough to know that even if they didn’t come for him, they would definitely come back for her. Shiro would be the Black Paladin again, and everything would be fine. It had to be.

He was  _ fine _ doing this.

That was when they saw it. A huge  _ thing _ , and it was coming right for them.

“NOW,” he mentally screamed at Black. (He sent out a short sorry because that was probably really loud. Spiritually. He still wasn’t sure how it worked—) She was still against it, she wasn’t ready to lose him. 

She really was a mother. But even she knew it was the only alternative they had. 

Black was the leader of the pack.  _ Of course _ they’d follow her. 

All of a sudden, there was a huge force, and was that thing coming  _ closer _ ?! How big exactly was it—?

The Paladins of Voltron, saviours of the universe, very maturely, screamed.

And lost their grips on each other. 

And then the Lions came.

And Black collapsed.

Caught up in their joy of being saved, and the necessity to escape, of course they assumed their  _ leader _ would be fine. Keith was just happy that his last moment would be them just, living, breathing, alive.  _ His _ family.

_ Thank you, _ he whispered.  Nobody heard.

That was when the giant floating demon  _ thing _ crashed into him.

_ Thud. _

* * *

At first there was black.

Then there were flashes.

_ Until there was nothing at all. _

**Author's Note:**

> uhm,,,,,im sorry???
> 
> THE ENDING IS OPEN-ENDED THOUGH, SO IF U WANT U CAN IMAGINE THEY FOUGHT THAT WEIRD DEMON THAT WANTED TO EAT THEM AND SAVED KEITH UH-
> 
> also the title is taken from the song "Broken" by Anson Seabra, go listen to it if you want!!
> 
> if you read this and liked it, or even if you have any criticism, please feel free to comment, I'd love to know what you thought of this random oneshot I wrote down in like half an hour haha
> 
> THANK YOU SM FOR READING, MWAH ILY ALL AND HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT WHEREVER YOU ARE <3333


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